Thursday, November 02, 2006

Political DNA

Laundry done, body clock reset, a few regular meals under my belt. Must mean its time to head out again, which is why I am drinking beer in the lounge while I type this. Heading the opposite way this time. Down to my favorite city on the planet and then out to a few points west from there.

When I was in the States last week, I was suprised how many people actually like Fox news. I don't, I'm a concerned CNN fan. I 've read a lot of accusations of how they are firmly emplanted in the Democratic camp. These same folks wrote that while criticizing their broken government series of broadcasts last week. Now me, I thought it was a good set of broadcasts and it was just as unsparing of the Democrats as they were of Republicans. In particular I liked their show on the Democrats being the party of two left feet. Which, as we discovered with John Kerry, are firmly planted in his mouth.

Today they also had a piece on what they called "micro-targeters", which are the firms that both parties pay big money to profile the average American voter. Using information from shopping, credit card use, internet surfing etc they have come up with a "typical" Republican and Democratic voter:

KAYE: Microtargeters know what you read, what kind of coffee you drink, even if you have caller I.D. These tidbits help political parties customize their business and bring it to your front door. Did I mention microtargeters know where you live, too?

(on camera) Here in Folcroft, Pennsylvania, how do microtargeters know which house is Democrat and which house is Republican? Well, a Republican household's DNA includes a playset in the front yard, a minivan in the driveway, a computer that's a PC and more dogs than cats. Republicans also, according to microtargeters, watch football, not basketball. Oh, and they don't smoke.

Their neighbor, the Democrat, has a very different political DNA. They're more likely to have a hybrid car, an Apple computer and a platinum credit card. They shop at upscale stores, buy gourmet wine and cheese and own both dogs and cats.

(voice-over) Armed with tiny electronic databases, canvassers from both parties go door to door, pushing issues your political DNA tells them you care about.

If you've been identified as a likely opponent of the Iraq war, Republicans may target you with messages about other issues, while Democrats may focus on the war.

I shudder to think what my profile must tell them................

"Voter who likes beer, women, and bars in Wanchaia nd other seamier neighborhoods. Buys cheap wine, watches old movies and listens to 70's rock and roll. Surfs blogs and other porm sites." I probably fall somewhere under the label "lunatic fringe".

Speaking of warped DNA, I invite you to check out the following article examining my favorite little hypocrite, Michelle Malkin. Its long, but accurate -and well documented from her own words. Its got her sized up about right:

Depending on who you ask, Andy Kaufman was either one of the twentieth century's most innovative comedians, or just a guy with a talent for pissing people off. Kaufman made a career out of confusing people. The public was never quite sure what was real, and what was an act.He didn't tell jokes, he played them. And he played them on his audience.

According to popular belief, Kaufman became ill with cancer and died in 1984.

Ever see the body? Didn't think so.

Kaufman, it turns out, is alive and well... and not only that, he's still in the public eye,hiding in plain sight. He has adopted a new persona.

It was a subtle transformation: a little extra padding here and there, a little collagen in the lips, and presto: Kaufman's new character was born. In the end, however,
he played it too deadpan, for too long. His routine became so outrageous, we finally realized that it was all a joke, and we recognized him.

Yes, it's true: Michelle Malkin is actually Andy Kaufman.

Andy,if you are reading this, my hat is off to you. I never thought you were very funny, but I have to admit: the Malkin thing was a masterful performance.

Don't believe me? Fine... for a few moments, let's pretend that we're taking Michelle Malkin seriously. The best way to show that it's all a joke is to treat it as if it weren't: to examine it soberly, and to keep a straight face as long as possible.

Who is Michelle Malkin? If you don't watch Fox News or read right-wing blogs, you might not have heard of her. In a nutshell (an appropriate container, in this case), she's Ann Coulter, but without the sense of humor. Or at least, you might think she has no sense of humor. But remember... it's Andy Kaufman under that wig.

What are a few of Malkin's favorite talking points? Liberals hate America. Illegal immigrants are destroying us. Invading Iraq was the right thing to do. The blabbermouth press threatens the War on Terror. Oh, and throwing Japanese-Americans into internment camps during World War II? That was a good thing. (1)

Malkin's beliefs are certainly to the right of mainstream American, and for that matter, they're to the right of the Right. But the mere fact that a viewpoint is outside the mainstream does not necessarily mean that it's wrong, or that it isn't worth reading. Popular commentators on either side of the political spectrum can serve as a barometer of liberal or conservative opinion. Reading Malkin, however, one quickly realizes: her columns are not really a barometer of the Right. They're more like a rectal thermometer.

Read the whole thing. Then tell me if you do not view the little Filipina in wholly different light from now on. Wonder if she can sue R.E.M. for royalties?

Ja ne...................

H/T to Wonkette!


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