Saturday, July 08, 2006

Choices.......

Moving sucks! Just had to get that out of the way, because it does. However, in the process of packing and unpacking I've had a great opportunity to review the many different turns my life has taken in the past (not so few) years. I wonder what would have happened if I had chosen differently at various points.

It seems to me, that in my life, I've had a certain lack of daring. When confronted with a significant "Y" in the road I have always seemed to take the more well paved and conservative path. About the boldest thing I have done is when I made the decision to walk out on my ex. At the time it was gut wrenching, now in hindsight, it was the only logical thing to do. Yes there have been costs, but the cost to me as a person would have been higher if I had stayed.

I'm going through a similar crisis of confidence right now. I've gone to a new job which on the surface looked like it was going to offer me what I wanted, but as I get deeper into it, it has me wondering if I made the right choice. The S.O. keeps telling me to just not worry about and let time take its course, but that is not me. I'm impatient, and want to know all the answers now! Trouble is, like a line from a movie, when you are at the Y in the road all you see is the turn, you don't see the end of the road. I'm thinking I made the wrong turn and don't no how to get back to the right path.

I wonder if others have had similar misgivings as she made choices. Something she wrote a few days ago really struck a chord with me: " I hate adulthood and all that responsibilities that come with it. The only thing I probably enjoy is the freedom to golf shop and the right to turn into an alcoholic.". I know exactly how she feels. I also think she is saying to enjoy the journey and not worry so much about the destination. Easy to say, not so easy to do since every thing in society is focused on the destinations out there (fame, money, recognition at a job, advancement....). Is it just me or do others have the same sense of misgiving?

Skippy-san

Cross posted at exordinarily ordinary

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