Friday, May 04, 2007

My advice to you........

Start drinking heavily.

I wish I could, but after still not feeling well for over a week, I caved in and went to the doctor yesterday. Who confirmed for me that yes, I had stuff in my lungs and it would probably be heading for pneumonia if we did not get some quality drugs inside me.

Then he told me I should not travel for a while. Can't say as I disagree with him. So like a real wimp and I cancelled my trip to the US next week. Meow Meow Meow:


Yes, my one of these hurts!

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The real reason to start imbibing is that its going to be a long time till the end of 2008 and until then the world will have to witness two competing spectacles play themselves out. The struggle for Iraq and the struggle for the White House. Both seem as if they started too early and both look as if they will never end.

Watching the Republican debate this morning was humorous to say the least, with each candidate trying their best to ingratiate themselves to the losers who populate the party's "base". Same thing the Democrats did last week-playing to a different set of losers. Both "bases" are worthless, for reasons that I will expound upon some other time. Suffice it to say that I found a certain irony seeing the debate conducted in the Ronald Reagan library. The GOP has drifted so far away from the Gipper that he would weep seeing the morass that it is today. FDR would do the same for the Democrats. A pox on both of them.
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Speaking of getting drunk, Phil opines that martinis should only be made with gin. I don't drink martini's so I'm not equipped to comment on the following statement:


I hate to get snobbish about it, but a martini should be made with gin or it’s not a martini. Call it a vodkatini if you must, but not a martini.


What say you?

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I also find it hard to get excited about the DC madam scandal. Since I believe that prostitution should be legal-or at the least, decriminalized-I don't understand what is the big deal if a few capitol hill muckety mucks, sliced off a piece of ass on their own time, with their own money. ( Which makes me wonder if some of that ass slicing was on the taxpayer dime). Having been to Thailand where one can get a lot more for a lot less, I'm at a loss to understand how 1 hour with an American girl can somehow be worth 300 dollars. But to each his own. Whenever something like this happens, nobody ever says if Mrs. Muckety Muck was doing her bit to keep hubby satisfied-somehow I doubt it-which makes a lot of difference as far as I am concerned. Besides, there are more than a few people in DC who need to get laid.

Of course, it does not help that one of the offenders is a supposed defender of so called "abstinence only" programs. I've always thought that particular approach was reckless and down right silly-especially for teenagers ( or middle aged divorced men for that matter) as a means to keep them from sex and its dangers. As GWOTM points out very well:
People like to fuck.
People will fuck.
Throwing money at teaching young people not to fuck doesn't work.
Spending money educating young people about fucking safely, does work however, resulting in lower rates of STIs and teenage pregnancy.

Advocate condoms not abstinence: it's common fucking sense.
Sums it up pretty well. Especially the first two lines. I know I like to.
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On the subject of paramour's, FP's Passport blog has found an ultra-top secret memo from Paul Wolfowitz to the world bank. Seems that despite the scandal involving his well paid girl friend he is firmly in charge:

I am writing to you with a stern warning. It has come to my attention that many of you are turning your internet browsers to TradeSports.com, where there is an active market in “Paul Wolfowitz resignation” contracts for 2007. (For those of you who don’t know, this is a website where you can take bets on a variety of political events.)

I hope you understand that any attempt by World Bank Staff to buy or sell these contracts will be considered insider trading in clear violation of my anti-corruption guidelines. Your knowledge of normal World Bank personnel procedures gives you a clear information advantage in predicting whether I will be forced to resign. You must not abuse it. Please note: the Bank’s prohibition on insider trading applies not only to immediate family but also to significant others (e.g., girlfriends).

Some of you have already queried my office about whether it would still be insider trading if, when you buy “Paul Wolfowitz resignation” contracts (betting that I will leave before 2008), you also sell short “Alberto Gonzalez resignation” contracts. (This is a bet that my friend, the U.S. Attorney General, will hang on through end 2007.) My emphatic answer is no! Long Wolfowitz, short Gonzalez is only a “relative value play” that hedges out the value of loyalty to President Bush. You would still be guilty of insider trading on your Bank-specific knowledge. (And who says I don’t know enough about finance for this job!)......

Some of you may wonder how I can remain at the Bank when so many staff are openly seeking my dismissal. (Thank goodness most of you have tired of wearing those silly blue protest ribbons.) And what about the claim that my deputy, New Zealander Graeme Wheeler, told me I should resign at a supposedly-closed senior staff meeting last week?

Let me fill you in on the facts of life. Ever since the World Bank was founded shortly after World War II, the President of the United States has always hand-picked the President of the World Bank. That’s life; stop whining. We Americans may hold only 16 percent of the shares at the World Bank, but we insist on keeping its presidency as our birthright. So what if there might be better qualified candidates from the developing world or Asia? I am tired of hearing people say that South African finance minister Trevor Manuel would be far more effective in my job than I am. (Trevor is a good guy, but dream on. He has neither the right passport nor the right friends.)

Speaking of which: Some of you may also wonder whether World Bank staff, directors, or presidents are permitted to buy “George W. Bush Impeachment” contracts, which are also presently listed on TradeSports.com. Tricky question, but the bottom line is that your employment generally precludes political activity of this type. You will be relieved to know, however, that I have already instructed the Bank legal staff to allow exceptions to the insider trading rules for anyone who can demonstrate a truly compelling need to hedge against a change at the White House.

If you have not guessed by now-its a joke. But a pretty good one nonetheless.
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I'm putting together yet another order for Amazon. I just received David McCullogh's biography on Truman and a Chinese cookbook. Since GWB always likes to compare himself to Truman, I thought I should learn more about the former president to judge for myself. I can't quite picture it, but the book sure is thick enough. Its going to take a while to plow through. I'm screwing up my courage to buy the two God bashing books that have come out recently- Hitchens' "God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything " and Sam Harris' Letter to a Christian Nation. Not so sure that's such a good idea-the thought police are always out there! And as is my experience with Hitchens, anything useful he has to say gets smothered in his oh so British arrogance. However the premise is interesting so I'll probably buy them. I may wait till I get to Hawaii in the end of the month and sneak them out of Borders under a newspaper-like buying condoms, you have to do these things discretely.
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Miss Izzy has some new definitions for the dictionary. Two classics:

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.


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Happy Cinco de Mayo! Its going to be a long weekend for me. Not going to see many of these I'm afraid:



And I don't think I'll be chasing these either:



But wait till I get well!

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